Lonely at the Top


You would have heard this phrase – it’s lonely at the top – often. But this loneliness is compounded tenfold when you are the founder of a new company.

A corporate CEO is lonely, but at least he is a part of a well-oiled company with set processes and an established brand. Unfortunately, a start-up entrepreneur has nothing except his/her convictions and a small team following his/her vision.
While the universal stresses of running a business are well-known, what is less discussed is the stress of internalising doubts and uncertainties that plague founders. As a founder, you always strive to inspire those who look up to you, shielding them from negativity and doubt. But that doesn’t mean you don’t experience fear and uncertainty. Every start-up journey is a rollercoaster, often with more lows than highs, and no matter how confident you are, doubt is a natural – and constant – companion.

The world is littered with unsuccessful start-ups. Reports suggest 90% of them fail within the first 5 years! It is hardly surprising that fear, uncertainty, and doubt will creep in sometimes, but you can’t afford to spread those feelings in your organisation as a founder. The buck stops at you, a heavy burden that can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being.
So, how do you deal with it? Is having co-founders the answer? Finding co-founders you can trust both emotionally and intellectually is no small feat and requires a serious, long-term commitment from both sides. It’s easier said than done. Do you seek allies within your team, outside, or both? Even with aligned incentives, confessing your fears can be daunting. How vulnerable can you afford to be while building trust? These questions don’t have definitive answers, but as an entrepreneur, you must absorb the impact of everything that goes wrong. Quitting is not an option.

I have had my share of difficult and dark days and found inspiration in the journeys of others. It helps to know you are not alone, or even the first, to encounter the effects of suppressed loneliness and stress. The path you’re on has been walked on by many before you, though the purpose may differ. Whether you’re building an institution, rallying for a mission, or launching a startup, these are all risk-taking ventures. You are part of a community of resilient individuals, all navigating the same challenges.

Three things helped me. One, disconnecting from work for some part of the day. It could be an uninterrupted meal with your family or time in the gym or garden, as long as it is not work. In my case, I found solace in my books and my dog, whom I adopted during the COVID-19 pandemic. Two, finding a community of people going through or having gone through similar career pathways. While your family will undoubtedly support you, unless they are entrepreneurs themselves, they won’t fully grasp what you’re experiencing. Talking to people who understand the stresses of the job and can give relevant advice will help blow off steam and give you fresh perspectives. Sometimes, reconnecting with old friends who have no idea what you do also helps you stay focused on your personal life – they are only interested in you as the person who is their friend from school, college, or neighbourhood. Finally, continuing to pursue your hobbies can be a big help. Whether it is reading, sports or travelling, keep indulging in whatever is close to your heart; don’t let these activities fall by the wayside.

Meanwhile, hang on with humour! It can be a powerful tool for coping with the challenges of leadership. If you are looking for a laugh, I recommend Calvin and Hobbes – a dose of their fearless and fun approach to life is exactly what founders need!

Manoj Kumar, Founder, Social Alpha